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oh! happy day of love….sniff sniff….

February 15, 2014

a valentine’s (or not) rant.

an ex had to explain the sniff test to me…..when you are at someone’s navel (not certain she used that word) and things start to smell iffy….then, stop~

stop making out, that is.

i read an awesome article this weekend about how your coochie, hair pie, vagina, taco, whisker biscuit, etc. might taste.  well, it’s a human cavity, after all.  i mean, really.  and if they (you know “they” aka whomever) loves you, then it will smell, not to mention taste, FAB.U.LOUS.

if i am in love with you you smell, look, feel and taste divine.  period.  well…period might be pushing it.  actually, now that i think about it, even then.

i had another ex, who clearly was unaware of the sniff test, tell me after i’d been for a long run was the BEST….because it was so me.  just me.

don’t scrub.  don’t douche.  and don’t be a fucking douche about it.  don’t scent.  don’t take too much away.  let it be you.  because that’s who i want.  YOU!

i hear the bush is back.  in fact i saw an ad that proved, on some mannequins at least, that the bush is back.  some people care.  and by care i mean they will have it absolutelyNOfuckingother way than bare, spotless, scrubbed almost raw…..

i disagree.  completely.  the bush might be back.  but, i just don’t care.  i want you every way.  clean, tidy, lovely, in pretty panties, messy, forgotten, natural, real…..i want to experience all of you, please.  PLEASE.

and, i want to know that you will take me however i am.  i want to experience the desire in you to HAVE me (HAVE ME, TAKE ME…you get the picture) above all else….i want that desire to be so all consuming that you don’t stop to sniff….

sniff sniff?  realllllllllllly? …get a tissue, douchebag!

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